Day Three

 

Day Three...

 

I walked late as I had orientation for my new job. I saw my eagle right away. This is the first time this has happened in all the time I have gone to Eagle's way. I barely got out of the drive way and there he was.

Today was a day to reflect. I call it letting my mind free flow. On Saturday, it will be one year since I was fired from my job. Today, I started a nursing job working the night shift. The slide down to the valley has been long. I have said many times...I will never be fired from a job...I will never work the night shift...I will never work in a nursing home again.... well, in God's world you learn to never say never ...you learn to bend your will and give over. You open your hard heart to see what God has in this place called "never".

As I walked I could see all the workers doing work on the buildings, getting them ready to sell. I had prayed that early on....God please have all these buildings ready and usable. He had to remind me of that prayer when the work started... as I got all concerned when I saw the beginning of the work. They have put new roofs on, painted, new doors, lights, gas lines, electric work. It has been amazing to watch. I thank God every day I see it.

Today I realized, He was doing construction on me. And I reflected on that. I thought of my slide down to the valley. I saw my sin. I saw my reflection. I thought about what the world sees....do I reflect Jesus?..am I a good ambassador for Jesus...is He first in my life. It is hard to be in the valley. It is hard to live the lessons. It is hard to humble yourself in this world. In this quick, hurry up, give me right now, want it-buy it...world...it is hard to live in the valley.

I know I am a sinner. I lust for the things pf this world and constantly pray about that. I don't always reflect Jesus as I should. I have a strong will that still needs taming. I have a good way of getting over on myself...you know its ok...God will understand. Today, I saw all that. I saw my intolerance for some people instead of seeing their story. I saw my impatience, I saw my pride. I looked at the ugly reflection staring back at me. It brings me to tears. There is no where to hide and honestly I would love too. To go where I am going I have to see it all. I have to look and understand and confess. It can get ugly. A quick word spoken in anger. A prejudice un confessed. A prideful attitude. It all sits before me.

And then, I look up to where my help comes from....I see the mountain before me. I see the blood of Jesus and I know that I know I am forgiven.

I thought about Noah, Abraham and David. I thought about all of the people from the bible and God's grace with them. I think about how hard it must have been to follow God's vision given to them. The ridicule, the mocking ,the harassment and the work. It is hard work. Climbing to the mountain top is hard. There is lots of construction that has to happen. And it is happening.

My heart is open and I am sorry for my sins...I am humbled at where God has brought me. I am humbled at in the midst of construction (and this is not new construction) I have peace...the peace that passes all understanding. A quiet assurance that I will see the mountain top. That I will not only will I bask in His glory, I will reflect His glory. This only by the precious blood of Jesus. I walk in grace Amazing grace.

I suppose if you have to be constructed better to have the best carpenter in the world doing it...

 

and  yet when God searches the world and says who will go...my hand still shoots up and I yell "pick me, pick me". No matter what, no matter how hard, no matter the cost.....I still climb the mountain.

 

 

thank you God for your expert construction. Thank you for reflection. Thank you that I can come to you and ask forgiveness and it will be forgiven. Thank you for the blood of Jesus that washes me clean. Forgive me my sins Father...my lust, my pride, my intolerance, I ask forgiveness in Jesus name. I pray Father for each person praying here, that you bless them mightily. I pray your protection around them. I pray your will be done on Eagle way. That you will have your way Father. I thank you for what you are going to do. I thank you for your unspeakable joy and I love you....Amen